“Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls – family, health, friends, integrity – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”

-Gary Keller, real estate guru and author

 

 

When I get home from work each day, I am literally tackled by four excited children. They drop whatever they’re doing, run across the house screaming “Dad!” and grip my legs with savage force.

On other days I am greeted at home with a Nerf gun assault. At the very least, I’m followed around the house as I attempt to put away my coat and change out of my work clothes without stumbling over someone. My wife, a tad more patient, waits for the tumult to die down before greeting me with a kiss.

From there on out, the evening is a family affair. I’ve spent about 10 hours at work and am ready for a change of pace. But that change of pace is harder to come by, and if I’m truly going to give the most to my family and to myself, I must be more conscientious about my propensity for work to creep in.

Blurred Lines Between Work and Home

Thanks to our wonderful communication technologies, mobile devices, and digital sharing tools, our expectations for when and how work happens have changed.

It used to be that when you left work, work was done. No one would call you, you couldn’t respond to messages, and anything that wasn’t completed would have to wait until the next day.

But as the tools of our profession have changed, many professionals – especially teachers – are experiencing the steady intrusion of their work day into their home time. While we want to make sure we are staying productive and faithful to our responsibilities as educators, we must now be more conscientious of how we separate work from home.

Technology Makes Us Reachable, Portable

The very tech we tout as transformative to the classroom is equally, surreptitiously, transformative to so many aspects of life beyond the classroom.

Email, for example, means that we have an mailbox that individuals can send message to any time they want. Colleagues, parents, students – all can send us their queries and information at any point they press “send.” Most people I know are gluttons for email. The on-screen pop-ups and red notification icons burrow into our minds and demand attention like screaming infants.

Other sharing tools, like Google Docs, can be updated and dispersed at any time as well. A colleague’s late night musings on your latest team project are immediately available for viewing. Texting, social media, and the like also offer additional opportunities for professionals to communicate during non-working hours.

And what makes all of these communications possible? Our portable laptops and mobile smartphones. We bring these everywhere with us. As a result, we are bringing the opportunity to work and the opportunity for interruption with us everywhere, too.

These tools have changed our expectations of one another as well. Communication technology makes us more interruptible; portable productive tools make us take for granted we can work anywhere, anytime. And we assume the same for colleagues and students. Now, walking into the schoolhouse and NOT having seen the latest email thread, project update, or text chain sets us behind. Instead of entering school ready to proactively plan, assess, and be present for our students, we can almost immediately be placed in a reactive position.

Let’s not jump to the conclusion that technology is automatically a problem that we need to get rid of. I love being able to work, communicate, and learn in ways that are far more flexible than ever before. But just as these opportunities and expectations have changed, so too must our awareness and ability to adapt.

This is the era of the bleed-through work-life balance. If we’re not careful, instead of holding work and life in two distinct spheres, we might unknowingly blur the lines between them until we can no longer tell the difference.

Maintaining Separate States of Mind

Work and home are two separate places. Fortunately for teachers, we must physically travel to and show up at school (as opposed to other professionals who might work from home).

But just like school and your home are two separate physical locations, striking balance between them means that we create separate “states of mind” for work and home, too. This means that when you’re at work, you’re fully ready to engage in the responsibilities and joys of education without worrying about personal, home-life elements. And when we’re at home, we’re present with the people, tasks, and pleasures of our personal life without worrying about doing school work. Just like our body is physically at separate locations, so too must our mind.

This doesn’t mean you can’t create lesson plans at home or think about your kids at work; but it does mean making an effort to mentally distinguish between one and the other.

Author Martha Beck observes, “Some people spend years in an office cubicle without ever feeling the energetic involvement of real work; others do brilliant, inspired work without ever leaving their bed. This is because both work and home are first and foremost states of mind.”

This suggests that the locations can, and will, be blurred. But we must be conscientious about when and how we choose to blur them.

Seven Small Boundaries I Draw

There’s a great deal that can be said about how we separate work from home. Obviously, the physical locations help. I preserve most of my work for the schoolhouse. I preserve most of my laundry for home. But since technology makes it so that I can work and communicate anytime, anywhere, I have developed a few guidelines for myself.

“No devices at the dinner table.”

We share family dinner each and every night. Our smartphones get placed at the far end of the kitchen. Notification dings and phone call rings get ignored until dinner is over. Other distractions, like a TV on in the other room, are turned off. We tell our kids that dinnertime is so we can “eat and talk about our day.” That leaves little room for external interruptions.

“No work email on the phone.”

I spend loads of time on school email, but my email is limited to my work-assigned laptop. I keep it off of my personal smartphone, even though many colleagues rather enjoy having their work email so accessible on their mobile device. As I’ve told others, the last thing I want to do at my child’s soccer game is be tempted to respond to a work email. It can wait until I open my laptop later.

“Nights are set aside for a specific purpose.”

Because of the energy and chaos my young family presents, I couldn’t work at home between 5:00PM to 9:00PM even if I wanted to. Once they are finally asleep, that leaves precious little time for me to do something before I collapse from exhaustion myself.

I’ve written about my morning routine and how I try to maximize my early hours. I also have something of an evening routine. Certain nights are dedicated to very specific tasks. These tasks include reading, writing, spending time with my wife, connecting with friends, and good old relaxation. And yes, some nights are dedicated to work. If you look at my week, no one activity dominates the night hours. I give each their due and maintain as healthy a rotation as possible.

“Keep a separate device for personal uses.”

From balancing family finances to perusing social media to checking email to managing personal projects, I utilize my own non-work computer for this. My professional emails, spreadsheets, projects, and records are kept on my work-assigned computer. That way when I want to do work, I’m not tempted to look at old pictures of my children or update my diary. And when I’m doing something personal – like maintaining this blog, for example – I don’t feel the pressure to check just one more work email.

“End-of-work tasks are completed.”

I keep a note taped on my desk. It says, “Leaving so soon? Did you…?” and then gives a short list of end-of-day tasks that should typically be completed. At the bottom of the note, I remind myself, “Think about how good you’ll feel knowing these are done!” As best as circumstances allow, I make sure to knock out these tasks before leaving for home each day. That way, I’m far less tempted to have them lingering on my mind when I get home.

“Have a designated working space at home.”

Yes, I do work at home. But I don’t allow it to infiltrate just any area of the house. My kitchen table is my “work spot.” When I sit there I feel ready to zero in on what I want to accomplish. I do not work on the couch or in bed. These might be more comfortable, but they are spaces I have intentionally set aside as space to enjoy home life, helping my mind and body “feel” the difference between when I’m working or not.

“No personal tasks during work.”

Sure this is mostly about keeping work out of the home, but the reverse should be true, too. When I’m at school, I am as present for my students and colleagues as possible. This means that I don’t work on personal tasks while I’m at school. I don’t text friends, I don’t do my banking, and I don’t shop Amazon while I’m on school time. I might, during lunch breaks, take care of personal tasks that demand attention.

And Ways I Blur the Lines, Too

I agree with the maxim that if you spend too much time working then you miss out on important time with family, and if you spend too much time with family then you miss out on opportunities at work. There is a balance to strike, and it takes intention and labor to make sure every aspect of your life is getting its due.

But there are a few ways I (intentionally) blur the lines between work and home. Here are a few:

• I bring my kids to school for various events. They love a good basketball game, musical, or holiday event at the high school. It’s a good opportunity for them to see where dad spends all his time.

• I’m always available for emergencies. Things happen that require me to drop everything and attend to. It’s part of my job to be available to spring into action whenever necessary, and my family is on board with that.

• I work from home when I need to. People rely on me, and it’s important that I respond to them within appropriate timeframes, prepare materials that facilitate the programs we enjoy, and so on. I have spent many a weekend morning or weeknight evening doing school work.

• I keep a notepad. Sometimes my best ideas for school come when I’m at home. I have a physical notepad where I write down as many thoughts as I can that come to mind about this, so that when I am on “work mode” I can take more advantage of the idea.

• I get personal at work. The adults I spend the most time with are my colleagues. I enjoy sharing about my personal life when opportunity allows, and I also enjoy gleaning from them their thoughts and experiences about their world outside of school.

The Balance Changes Over Time

It used to be that I didn’t care about this balance. As a young teacher I would come home from work, eat dinner and watch tv until 7:00, then work another 3-4 hours. My wife, also a teacher at the time, would share the same routine. This made us fantastic teachers, and at the time we felt we had a healthy balance that worked for us. Looking back I wish we did things a little differently, but I don’t really have big regrets.

However, now that I’m older my priorities have changed. I want to be a good dad. I want to be a good husband. I want to enjoy my friends and my family. I want to engage in my hobbies. I want to relax and, dare I say it, focus on myself.

I think it’s important to recognize that as life changes, so too does the type of balance we try to strike between work and home. These are my thoughts and strategies now. They’ll probably change once I get older and I recognize that.

So while it is right and good to work hard, it is also important for me to have a few simple boundaries in place that allow me to get the most out of all aspects of my life.